Sunday, April 13, 2014

A Feelin' Like That

Gary Allan.  What can I say, I love his music.  I love his voice and his songs have a way of really touching home.  When this song first came out I couldn't get enough of it.  Don't you know it was my ringtone!  I listened to it all the time, such a fantastic song.  Then life went along and I didn't hear it on the radio anymore and I kind of forgot about it, until it popped up on Spotify.  It was as if my love affair started completely anew.  I've been a touch lax lately on my Song of the Week posts, so what a better way to start again than with a long lost fav.  So here you are my pretties, Gary Allan's A Feelin' Like That.

I stepped out into the blue
Felt the wind hit my face
Before my shoot opened I felt my heart race
I was fallin
Oh that's just fallin

Off the coast of Australia
I dove way down deep
For all that I saw of that Great Barrier Reef
It was nothin
Compared to you it was nothin

I got Lightning in my veins
thunder in my chest.
all tangled up with you and tryin to catch my breath
I've been chasing that sensation half way
around the world and lookin' back
on what we had.
I've done it all I've seen it all but I can't find a feelin' like that.

I wound up in some town in Spain
runnin with the bulls
Tryin to catch another thrill with a thousand other fools
We were runnin
Ah but that's just runnin
when I started pushin 30
it started pushin back
Well how was I to know till now you'd be such a hard act to follow
Nothin seems to follow

I got Lightning in my veins
thunder in my chest.
all tangled up with you and tryin to catch my breath
I've been chasing that sensation half way
around the world and lookin' back
on what we had.
I've done it all I've seen it all but I can't find a feelin' like that.

It's like flyin down some back road at midnight
with you eyes closed and the head lights off
Your life is searchin everywhere can't find that feelin' anywhere
Your all I want, now all I want is that...

Lightning in my veins
thunder in my chest.
all tangled up with you and tryin to catch my breath
I've been chasing that sensation half way
around the world and lookin back
on what we have.
I've done it all I've seen it all but I can't find a feelin' like that.

That's right I've done it all
I've seen it all but I can't find a feelin' like that

XO Loves,


Saturday, April 5, 2014

A Rainy Day at Home

Today I cried a little.  I hate that I can be so emotional, I've always felt it was a complete setback.  Some may agree it is, others may think it's endearing while others still just don't understand it.  I find myself on the verge of tears whenever something touches my heart.  Whether it be a touching movie, talking about a lost pet, a lost friend or just my family in general I find myself literally getting choked up over nothing.  I didn't used to be this way.  In fact as a child I remember rarely crying at funerals of beloved family members.  It's as though all those emotionless years are now catching up with me and making up for lost time. 

I felt like crap today.  It was similar to a wicked hangover only without the nausea, I couldn't breathe and it felt like an elephant had taken up residence on my chest.  All I wanted was my mum's.  I laid pathetically in my bed just about all day, getting up only to let my dogs out.  Finally I decided I needed to eat so I left home in search of sustenance.  I just wanted to listen to my music loud and as La Roux blasted through my speakers I couldn't help but think about another time.  A little over a year ago when her CD was all I listened to as I mourned the loss of my best friend.  I'm not sure why out of all of the CD's I have in my pickup her's was the one I chose, there was no meaning behind it, we'd never listened to it.  In fact he probably wouldn't have even liked her.  Two years ago I chose to come back to school and finish my degree.  The loss of my best friend felt even greater as I came back to his old stomping grounds. 

He was a great guy.  One of the first friend's I made when I started college.  He had the best parties and they were known as such far and wide.  He was always there for me, through the dark and the light.  Whether I needed an encouraging word, a drive in the mountains or a beer he was always there somehow knowing exactly what I needed.  He occasionally lost his way over the years, but he had a good heart and always found his way back.  The hardest part about crying over him is that if only he were still here he's the first one I'd call to help stop this nonsense.  His death was untimely of course and I haven't dealt well even though it's been two years.  I still clearly remember the day my friend called to tell me he was gone.  I had moved home and we hadn't talked in awhile I'd been thinking about giving him a call to catch up.  The opportunity lost and I couldn't even attend his funeral.  I never got to say good-bye to the one man I had a truly uncomplicated relationship with.  He was laid to rest in ancestral lands and I'm bound and determined to say good-bye to him before I leave in June.  Visiting his grave will be incredibly real and even though I know he's gone that cold gray stone will drive it home.  I've lost a lot of family, people I loved and cherished for years but for some reason I felt his death much stronger than any other.  He was my go to guy, my problem solver, my good time friend.  He was a colorful man and touched so many lives, my heart breaks for the three little kids he left behind.  So many memories, so many crazy stories, so many good times.  I hope he knows how truly special he was and always will be to me. 

XO Loves,


Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Gary Allan and Dark Skies

"I know I must be going, cause love's already gone.  And all I'm taking with me are the pieces of my heart and all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark."

So many new changes are coming my way and I finally feel like the young lady I always wanted to be someday.  I just finished my final winter term of college and my mama came up for a little visit.  Since I chose to go to university 11 hours away from home I don't see my family very often.  My papa wanted to come too but there was too much to be done in preparation for summer haying.  Even though I don't live in a small town compared to my hometown, it doesn't offer much in the way of amenities.  If you want to go to a mall or do any real shopping you have to go to Idaho or Washington.  We chose Tri-Cities in WA and just had a blast.  We watched a movie went to a nice restaurant, did a little shopping where my mama got her first smartphone and managed to not get lost once. 

Both coming and going we went through Pendleton, which for those of you who don't know I lived there for 3 years.  While there I made several lasting friendships, fell in love and experienced life as every young college kid should.  The difference between La Grande and Pendleton though is that Pendleton truly felt like home.  I've been fortunate in that everywhere I go I seem to find a family that adopts me, which makes being hundreds of miles away from home so much easier.  Maybe it's that I was more social while in Pendleton but no matter how long I've been away my soul feels an instant calm when I drop down into town.  Graduation is quickly approaching and I'll be moving soon, which means I don't know when I'll be back.  It's ok though, I'll always have the memories.

This morning I got a call from a Range Manager in Colorado, first wondering if I'd accepted another position yet and second if I had time for an interview.  An hour later I was sealing the deal on a Range Technician position in Yampa, CO.  It's a sleepy little town of 300, nestled in the heart of the Rockies, elevation 7,800.  I'm so excited!  I worked 2 summers in SE Colorado several years back and I can't express the joy I feel over being able to go back.  The best part is that even though it's small it's only 25 miles to Steamboat Springs which is quite a bit bigger and sounds like where I'll be doing my primary shopping.  In my opinion it's a sign of a good job when one of your interview questions is if you can drive a manual transmission and pull a trailer.  I love adventure and the Rockies are absolutely beautiful.  The high elevation can be a killer but I swear you feel better, even if your lungs do feel like they may explode with any real exertion.  I'll be living in the barracks with the other seasonals and if all goes according to plan I'll be taking 2 horses with me.  What else can a girl ask for? 

Tonight the skies steadily grew darker, Gary Allan sang to my soul through my Bose speakers.  As the wind picked up and the music grew louder I felt like I was living a dream.  I felt heady and light hearted as thought this life I'm living was not my own.  I may not be exactly where I planned to be 5 years ago, but I'm in a good place.  Life is looking up, new opportunities are all about me and I fully intend on making the best of every one of them.  I've given up on trying to plan my future.  I have a fair idea but the actual planning is not mine to make and the spontaneous nature of it all is something I crave.  Make sure to check back this summer because I should have some grand tales and fabulous photo's to share!

How stinkin' cute is this little town???!!!

XO Loves,


Thursday, March 6, 2014


I'm up late frantically trying to finish up a scientific paper for my plant physiology class.  It's not due until Monday but tomorrow is the last day to have our professor review it for us.  Not only is this class super hard but there's only 90 points possible and this paper is worth a third of our grade!  I've got most of it done though.
While I'm working I'm listening to my favorite list on Spotify, which includes a lot of Brenn Hill, Ian Tyson and Chris LeDoux.  It's really got my soul stirring.  For the last couple of weeks I've been applying to Range Tech jobs throughout the West.  So far I've had a call back on a job in the Dakotas and a job in Utah.  The stress and anticipation is almost too much to bare.  I've applied for a lot of jobs, there's still more I haven't gotten to, and more being posted weekly.  All of these jobs are 6 month temporary jobs, but rather than being disappointed I'm thrilled.  It gives me a chance to gain the experience I need in order to apply for a higher grade level as well as allows me the opportunity to work who knows where!  Also, my 5 year plan may or may not involve a season working as a jillaroo in Australia.  The thought of being tied down and restrained in one town right now gives me heartburn.  I'm young, I'm graduating in 4 months and other than my myriad of animals, nothing is holding me back!
For those of you reading this from another state, I just may be coming to your town soon.

XO Loves,


Sunday, March 2, 2014


The rains pouring down, beating against the weak sides of my little house.  The dripping in the window sill so loud I think it's leaking.  The already saturated ground can hold no more, the water pools and runs downhill.  It was snowing just yesterday.  It seems my awful luck has struck again.  The weather has been beautiful during the weekdays, and wintery and dismal on the weekends.  Between school and work I'm stuck inside Monday-Friday.  The weekends are mine though.  Unfortunately this weekend I had too much homework to catch up on and I didn't get my usual weekend pleasure.  I doubt my ponies mind much, they must feel like they've hit the jackpot.  They haven't had to work in a week and they get to eat all day long.  I did get my newly acquired first edition of Nerve by Dick Francis read though, so it hasn't been a complete loss.  Reading about riding is almost as good as riding right?  Especially when it's the high-stakes game of steeple-chasing?

I sit here taking pleasure in the sound of the rain hitting my window and clicking of the keys as I type.  So much reading to do; investment analysis, enterprise analysis, the cost of environmental services in South America.  I think my window sill really is leaking.  I've been couped up all day and I'm finding it very hard to concentrate.  My black dog lays contentedly alongside my computer.  His long hair obscuring the side of my screen.

Only 3 more weeks until Spring Break and only 11 weeks after that until I graduate.  This is my last eighth week of winter term.  The end is so close that I'm in a constant state of giddiness.  15 more weeks as a student.  Then I'm free!  No longer will I be staying up late at night reading things that really don't interest me.  No longer will I have to stress over time management when it comes to class, homework and work.  I'm almost done.  I can do this.  Now if I could just get some riding time in...

XO Loves,


Sunday, February 23, 2014

With a Whisper

Brenn Hill has quickly become one of my favorite artists.  I first heard his music while listening to a random playlist on Slacker and I've been hooked ever since.  In fact I moved from Pendleton the last time just before he had a show at Hamley's.  I was very disappointed!  I love his voice, and unlike so many mainstream artist's these days his songs actually tell a story.  I also enjoy that they're cowboy songs.  If you have Spotify here's a link that will allow you to listen to it.  Here's one of my favorites, With a Whisper. 

With A Whisper
Brenn Hill/Red Cliffs Press Music (BMI)
Verse 1:
Show me the ways of horsemen
Rope halter, snaffle, and bosal
Screw me down tight on the buckers
I wanna ride this colt through hell
Tell me the Roughrider's secrets
How to 9-1-1 your latigo
To cross her feet in a tussle
When to hang on when to let go
You are a modern contradiction
You hold to the ways of yesterday
You wooly buckaroo
I wish I was you
You say all there is to say
With a whisper
Verse 2:
Soft-mouthed and always lookin' for you
I see obedience in her eye
Her ears are ever-leanin' forward
Between the desert and the sky
With a fancy wild-rag 'round your neck
Jingle-bobs are singin' outta tune
Just you and her until the sun sets
Here upon the far Owyhee moon
Repeat Chorus
Verse 3:
Show me the ways of horsemen
Rope halter,snaffle, and bosal
Teach me the Roughrider's secrets
I wanna ride this colt through hell

Friday, February 21, 2014

Wild Animals

Have you ever stopped and truly thought about how hard wild animals work to survive?  They endure extreme heat, extreme cold, droughts, floods, monsoons, fires and other assorted natural disasters.  They're hunted, exploited, chased, harassed and relocated.  The overpopulation of humans has had a drastic affect on wildlife worldwide.

Every creature, big or small, cute or scary has a purpose and a story.  We may not always like or appreciate their lot in life, but they're here and we need to live with them.  Sometimes I think even through all their hardships, they really are better off.  Animal life is simple.  A hierarchy exists among every species that dwells together.  There's no lying, no deception amongst the ranks.  You're put in your place by your superior and that's that.  There's a constant battle for supremacy, but it's expected and the alpha always knows it's coming.  One day they will no longer be able to protect what is theirs.  When that day comes they leave, dead or alive.

The life of a wild animal is hard.  Whether it's an endangered black rhino in Africa being hunted for it's horn, a mama cheetah doing her best to defy cub survival rates, elk herds fighting off wolves or fish searching for colder waters.  Every day is uncertain, a constant risk, a battle for life.  Most people only see wild animals once their captured, or through the lens of someone else' experience.  We make jokes about observing some creature "in it's natural habitat".  Those of us who are lucky enough to see wildlife I think most often take it for granted.

Two falls ago I saw a timber rattlesnake for the first time, one of a pair.  The next day I saw a king snake, he proved too quick for my camera skills and I never did get a good shot of it.  Last fall I saw what was either a marten or a fisher.  Neither my dad or I had ever seen one before.  I gawk in amazement when I see big bucks.  I wonder at the athleticism and grace of elk.  I'm unusually afraid of  mountain lions (I used to have nightmares about them jumping through my window and eating me as a child), but their the ultimate predator.  Lithe, graceful, quick, strong and effective.

People who have grown up in the country learn from a young age to respect all animals.  When I was little I was always told that animals came first, and they always ate before I did. The true stewards of the land learn to live and make peace with all animals.  I had a great-uncle of sorts that spent most of the year in a camper in the mountains.  He was so unbelievably a part of the landscape.  He just sat in his little lawn chair quietly reading for hours and hours.  He made pets of deer and squirrels and chipmunks.  He was so accepted by his surroundings that one night he was awoken by a bull elk rubbing on the side of his camper!  He didn't have much and he was far from a materialistic man.  Sometimes I think he had the right idea. 

Anyway, this is no way is an ode to environmentalism.  Nor is it an attack on human kind.  I was just doing some research for a class and came across some fantastic photos shot for National Geographic.  Thought I'd share some with you.  They actually came from the Photo of the Day and I encourage you to check them out, the photo's are outstanding!  Here's the link.

XO Loves,