Scorup Cabin

Scorup Cabin

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012 Goals

I read on another Fabulous blog I follow, that it's better to set new year goals, rather than resolutions. Goals are much easier to work towards and attain, resolutions generally fail, and leave you depressed... To start out my post tonight on goals I'm going to quote Mae West. I think it's a marvelous quote, and one to keep in mind through 2012.

"It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it."

There are a lot of beautiful, talented and all-around Amazing ladies on my facebook.  Every gal has their good days and not so good days, but these ladies are almost Always super positive(true I mostly only know their fb lives), but still it's nice to know that you're not the only one who occasionally has an emotional breakdown.       Goal #1:  Look at life through brighter eyes...

Besides being postive women, they're talented, goal orriented, independent, strong and beautiful inside and out.                   Goal #2:  Exercise my talents, shoot for the moon and be an all around better person.

I haven't been very healthy in somewhere close to 2 years, however, things have gotten worse in the last year.  The most frustrating part being that, we can't figure out Just what's wrong!  After several studies, and many appointments, we've only come up with several small problems that 'may be' contributing to the major problem. Which is, a severe sleep disorder of some sort.  I fall asleep a lot! Mostly in very inappropriate situations, sleep has become my biggest concern in life.  Which is not at all normal.  Due to a total lack of energy and drive, so much in my life has been put off and shoved to the back burner.  This isn't how I want my life to be!!!   Goal #3:  Move forward with DR suggestions and find an Answer to my illness, becoming healthy Finally!

I currently have 3 horses. One amazing 'aged' mare, an unbroke 3 year old and a poorly trained 8 year old.  I'm also in the middle of another horse deal, which is the purchase of a Totally Awesome 3 year old that's already loping the barrel pattern. EXCITED!  With all of these horses, there is much to do. Thank goodness, my horses Always make me happy, and Always make life better!  So thankful and blessed to own horses.
                        Goal #4:  Keep all 4 horses legged up, break and train the 3 yr old, finish the 8 year old and get him over his fear of cows ;) b/c that just won't do. Also, keep my running mares in tip-top shape, sane and running.
 Exercise.  When I was going to school at OSU, I Loved working out. They had an Amazing gym!!! I spent a lot of time there, so did A LOT of others.  The university gym at EOU, was not the same.  Much smaller and not as well equipped.  For those of you who know me, running, just isn't my thing.  So as my need for sleep grew greater, my ability to workout began to fade away.  When you workout, one, you feel energized during and immediately after your workout and two you continue to feel better and eat better.  Don't think I need to go into details of what then progressed.
                     Goal #5:  Exercise every day, but excessively three times a week.  Strengthen core and correct my knees, develop upper body strength.

I have the soul of a gypsy.  I grew up in a tiny community, far away from town.  Caught the highschool bus at 6:30am and made the 1 hr trip to town for 4 years.  Not counting all of the sports events, and FFA activities that also required extra trips to Y-town.  But what I'm trying to say is, to go anywhere we've always had to Drive.  From a very young age, I was accustomed to many hours in the car.  I loved loading up in vans and heading to southern cali for FFA shows.  When I graduated I had the choice of going anywhere for school.  I orignally chose Shasta Comm College.  But just before fair, I decided to change schools.  So hurriedly I dropped classes, gave up my dorm and applied to BMCC in Pendleton, OR.  Of course, I moved in time to attend the 2005 Pendleton Round-Up.  One I won't soon forget.  At 18, and 9 hours from home, I couldn't believe my little country eyes when I saw a cowboy on a grey horse Ride, yes I said ride into Crabby's Underground Bar.  I looked with huge eyes at my poppa, who told me there's no way the bartender would let him stay.  Sure enough about 5 minutes later, out he comes..  Only he hadn't been kicked out. His horse had to poop!  Whcih he did on the sidewalk and back downstairs he went.  Later that night, we saw him leading his horse back to the trailer, with a very inebriated gal in the saddle.  Since that first term in Pendleton, I have moved every 3 months.  With the exception of my year in La Grande, and of course here, now.  I moved here and there, then across states, then to other states.  I hate the actual Act of moving, but love it when I get there!!!  I get bored, and restless if I stay anywhere too long.  Same with work.  I've been back in our little corner of everywhere for 9 months, and have held the same job for 6!  Some may say I'm growing up, me, my soul is crying for a new view of the sky.
                  Goal #6:  Visit friends, travel the rodeo road, and sate my need for moving.

I've been attending inquiry classes at the Catholic church.  Over the years, I've felt the need to find religion.  I attended church as a child (non-denominational), but was never baptized.  Many people questioned my decision, but it's my decision, one I'm very comfrotable with, and one I'm happy I made
                  Goal #7:  Be baptized Catholic and take my first communion.



For only 7 goals, this was a pretty long post.  So thanks for staying with me ;)  I'll probably add a few more goals as the year progresses, but this is a pretty good start.   So See ya Later 2011, and Hello 2012

Monday, December 19, 2011

CHRISTMAS Lights

 

The best part of todays Christmas time, are the lights. Now don't get me wrong, with my new found Catholic Religion being studied, I know that's not really what Christmas is about. But, I Love Christmas lights. Driving around in town looking at all the lights is always a fun family tradition.  So here are some fun Christmas light pictures:


I would be SO happy walking down this street!


Just Gorgeous


I want to stay here for Christmas!


Love colored lights, but this is very classy.


Eerie, yet lovely. Had to share..

That's all I have.  Hope all of you enjoy this years lighting decorations.  Unfortunately I don't have any outside, due to lack of outlets.  But next year, my barn will be decked out!!! 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to ALL!!!


XoXO

Me

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Mornings' Rat Race, or Something...

Woke up at 20 after 6.  Showered, dressed, cat doctored and fed.

                                                (Yes, this is me in the morning)

Out the door I go, shoes in hand.  I thought it snowed, but really it had just froze.  Chickens out, dogs in.  Shoot, my pickup is frozen solid, I wonder why my mama failed to mention the artic temperatures when she left.  The donkeys are making noises at me, and I can't find my ice-scraper.  Start the pickup, defrost ON!  Feed 1 foundered donkey, another old yet frisky donkey and an old, barren and blind cow.  Where am I exactly?

Check on defrosting; nothing.  Hmm, is that the inside thats wet?  Oh, fun, the inside of the windshield is also frozen.  Let's see here, dirty string gloves or 1 lonely, unmatched, left-over striped sock.  Sock, definitely the sock, it's clean. I think.  Super.  What a mess I made.  Crap it's 7:2 something, and I have 36 miles to go before 8!  Well gotta see first.  Trailer light adapters don't work overly well when scraping ice, but will work in a pinch.  Ok that's good enough, I can sorta see ;) 

30 minutes, 35 miles.

Are the roads icy, or is it too cold?  Brake test!  Nope, too cold.  Excellent.  Buckle up and Pray.

Juicy Squeeze, check.  Pound of chocolate on center console, check.  La Roux blaring on the stereo, check.  Down the road.  Temperature rising, not so cold down-river.  Oh look, there's a Bald Eagle. G'DAY!  Mmmm, love chocolate. 

EEE. That corner looked cold. Seiad. Hate having to slow down.  Quite cold here too, same snow like frost. 

18 miles, 15 minutes.

VROOM!  Why am I so tired? Oh yea, I'm probably narcoleptic.  Oh good, Amber's house.

15 miles, 12 minutes.

Shouldn't that be the other way around?

10 miles, 10 minutes.

Oh no, is that a car up there? Catch it on the way up the mountain.  UGH! This man is ruining my average ;)
THWAP!  WTH?!  Yikes, the lunge whip from the back seat made a front seat appearance.  Glad it went over my head.  OK, just tuck that in the visor like so...  Finally on the flat, headed into the big city of HC.  Dang it, get off my face, stay put!  I hate following other cars ;)  WHOO!

3 minutes, 0 miles.

Park, fight with whip, grab wallet and keys.  Run in.  Yep, I sure did make it.  8 o'clock straight up.

Now I'm countin change, listening to beep beeps and brightly handing out Good Mornings and Have a Great Day!  No meat cutting this Thursday... 

Should've got up 20 minutes earlier...


XO

Me

Friday, July 1, 2011

Nightbirds are Singin...




I LOVE the dark, and night time. I mean don't get me wrong, the things I know the skulk around in the dark do make me uneasy, but that's why I have good dogs ;)   But sleeping out under the stars on a cool summer night, is simply bliss... 

Crickets are supposed to be good luck. And they say if you have one in your house and you kill it, you will then have bad luck. So watch out for those little guys!   But it seems like they are always chirping.  ANd you can actually figure out the temperature by how many times they chirp in a minute.

I've lived in the high desert for several years, but honestly, I've never been able to see as many stars as I do when I'm back home in our little canyon. We don't have a huge expanse of sky to look at, but the shear numbers are extraordinary...  On a good night you can see the Milky Way, and I know that's not something everyone can say.  It's so dark, and quiet and peaceful here, that it actually scares some people when they come for a visit. But to me, it's home.  It's humbling as well, because how else can you truly appreciate the Lord than by reveling in the beauty he created?

At the edge of our front lawn, we have a large boulder that my dad picked up along the road during the '97 flood.  Starting at the age of 10 I've often gone out there to sit and just 'be' at night.  Not meditating as such, but relaxing and letting the peacefulness around me engulf me, and clear my mind. It's truly a Great way to let everything go... 

I love the sounds of night.  A light breeze, crickets chirping, the far off clink of a bell, the russel of leaves, toads hopping about looking for food, the all time serenity of the flowing creek...  

I love my home and the sounds that come with it ;)


XO loves

Me

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Horse Racing

Two summers ago, I moved to Norwood, CO to intern for BLM.  One of my favorite co-workers, owns a ranch and have a great breeding program.  Her husband, is much like me, and has a hard time saying No to a good deal horse trade ;)  Which means, it didn't take long for me to start hanging around.  Before I knew it I had my own pen of colts to work with.  My pen consisted of a 3 year old running quarter horse gelding, that was too long legged too soon. A 5 year old running quarter horse mare, a 4 year old cutting bred mare, a 3 year old throughbred, that the jockeys swore off, and a 14 year old mare that had been retrained but needed finished.  Along with any untrained ones I wanted to take on...  It was amazing!  I loved every minute of it.  They're full time hand, was somewhat reluctant to let the califonia girl take over any horses...  But we soon came to an agreement, and he got to keep his thoroughbred mounts.  About a month into work, he got fired, well for simply Not riding...  I wasn't even there full time, and I still rode more than he did.  So I got to take over his too... 

My favorite was the lanky sorrel thoroughbred colt the jockeys refused to continue to train.  He had an overbite, didn't know how to graze and was super skinny.  So, we dubbed him Skinny P.  The owner had just finished a totally awesome roundpen, and that was my new home.  It didn't take long before Skinny P fell in love with me.  Everyone was worried, and didn't want me to ride him, because he bucked and was mean.  Not with me though.  I'd gyp him around, and let him love on me, and then get on.  What a ride!  His lope was to die for!  He never once bucked with me.  The quarter horse gelding, was Huge!  About 16.2 at 3, he was going to fill out to be an awesomely amazing horse.  Again, awesome lope.  It literally was like a rocking horse, except he really leaned into his corners.  The 5 year old mare, was snotty.  After she'd figured she'd worked long enough she'd start to crow-hop.  But boy, did I want to buy her!  When I got there she looked like the lanky running horse she was, when I left, she was big enough to pull bulls!  Amazing mare, and Dash for Cash bred.  The cutting mare??  Smallest one of the bunch, never raced, and was my worst ride.  She was super stocky, and short coupled, hence, stopped on a dime.  She was supposedly more broke than the others, the hired hand had told them she was going to make a great barrel horse, and was well on her way to broke. HA!  She threw me into the wall!  Partly my fault, but I did hang on for almost a full turn around the pen.  I was ready for her the next time though.  I got to ride all of these kiddos outside, and race horses get very confused in the mountains. :)   But they did well.

Well this last summer I went back, they were all sold except for the 14 year old and Skinny P.  He had gained weight, spent months at a trainer, and was supposedly starting to rope...  Skinny P didn't need to be a rope horse...   I was so happy to get him back.  I loved this guy, and again, wanted to buy him.  I foolishly expected him to be the horse I had left, except even better!  Bad mistake there.  We rode around in the plowed area that sufficed as an arena, all went well until I loped.  Ole Skinny decided he forgot how that went.  And he broke in two...  Well I cussed at ole skinny, and spurred him, and told him that was Not ok to do with me.  I got him settled down, and was very upset.  What had that silly sowboy done to my horse???  He also did not neck rein a lick, and he was supposedly finished...   Skinny p eventually got traded along with a little wild thing for a newer but used piece of haying equipment. Gosh...   But I did get to mess around with some of the yearlings.  All being groomed for racing the next year.  Have I mentioned I love race horses???  I've always wanted to be a part of the industry.  My time in CO was the closest I may ever get. 

                            This is Buck. Now a 3 year old stud colt, running quite well.  And may be added to the breeding program if he continues to do well.  His 1/2 sister is also running with him, and is actually quicker out of the gate, but doesn't finish as strong.  I loved working with the little ones.... I gave this guy his first bath ;)

In light of the upcoming Kentucky Derby, I thought I'd share with you my time with these race horses.  I told the owner, I would never shy away from a race-broke colt again.  They were so much better to work than most horses I've been around.  It was a lot of fun, and I'm very thankful for the experience.

I don't know how many of you follow racing or are even going to watch the Derby on saturday.  But here are my top 3 picks!


                                                          Nehro - post 19


                                                   Twinspired - post 10


                                                    Mucho Macho Man - post 13


Hope you all get to watch, and hopefully I did ok with my race picks ;)


That's all for now my pretties

XO


Me

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Things...


old corrals

just a good photo


pretty handmade mohair cinches


gorgeous views

red high heels, we sure arent in kansas anymore


                                                                    love


nerds, what can i say


big bulls


adorable cow dog puppies


                                                                   coral anything


puppies


and the gorgeous mae west



thats all for now my pretties

xo


me

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Lies & Frustration


I remember several things from when I was little. 
1. Always look people in the eye when being chastized
2. Never betray a loved one's trust, because once destroyed, it's near impossible to re-gain.

The first lesson has served me quite well.  Throughout my childhood, many adults have been taken aback at my direct eye contact during uncomfotable situations.  Apparently they expected to see another hang-dog dejected child with eyes lowered to the ground...

The second I've always felt is the most important lesson in life.  My papa taught me to be loyal until betrayed.  And that's just what I've done.  Many times I've dug in my heels, backing up a friend.  Defending their position on any issue.  Very rarely have I taken the correct side in those issues :s  While being trustworthy, honest and loyal, I apparently am also extremely gullible.

It's my main source of frustration.  What kind of friend or lover sabotages a pure trust?  After many "break-ups", (not all of the romantic sort) I've become wary and distrusting of most.  To the point where I may have subconsciously pushed away the love of my life.  I'm not sure when the loyal, trusting little girl, lost her faith in humanity.  It seems like now I tend to distrust before I trust.  I'm not completely jaded mind you, I do have some good friends, and always good family!  But the children of my general generation have mostly lost the morals and values of old.  Nowadays, lies and deceit are more commonly expected than truth and honesty.  It's amazing that I've actually lost friends because I expected them to be honest with me.  Can you believe that???

Since my last 'mistake', I've done some reading.  And misunderstanding seems to be the cause of most lies.  One party simply doesn't know how to convey their feelings to the other.  A type of panic sets in, and complete idiocy comes out, rather than the truth.  Then when either, or both parties become upset, words are spoken in anger and haste.  It is true that words are just words.  And we commonly say hurtful things to those we love in an effort to hurt them like they've hurt us.

This is a very toxic tactic for any relationship.  But unfortunately, very common.  How do we change this disasterous downward trend?  I believe that marriages 120 years ago were more successful due to the respect men had for women.  We were reveered, loved, cherished and praised.  We were the givers of life and therfore demanded respect.  Divorce wasn't an option and not something taken lightly.

I'm not adverse to divorce these days.  Sometimes we simply make the wrong decision that day at the alter.  But it all comes back to men not fully respecting women.  If either side wouldn't lie or play games, the business of ultimate trust would be much easier indeed!

So come now, it's easy, as simple as telling the truth....  Will we ever have the luxary of being the loyal trusting little girls we once were???

You will know the truth
and the truth will set
you free.
John 8:32

That's all for now my pretties

XO

Me

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Little Miss Susie Homemaker... Finally

When I was growing up, I was never very interested in cooking.  I would occasionally help my mamma bake cookies or something fun like that.  One year I got a cook book for kids, and I got to make the whole dinner.  But otherwise I've never been the girl who can look in her refrigerator or pantry and say hey I think I'll make such and such for dinner tonight.  I have to plan, buy everything I don't have, and follow the directions.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad cook!  When I do fix food, it's pretty good, it's just that I don't do it regularly. 



Last year I had a guy tell me I was too buckaroo, and he didn't see me as a housewife type.  I seriously took offense to that and immediately went to Maurices, the only store in La Grande, and bought a bunch of girly clothes.  And made sure I Always had on makeup and did my hair... Dang him!  I am good at keeping my house clean, other than my tendancy to want to set stuff on the table always!  Vacuuming and sweeping are my two favorite house cleaning activities.  You really get a sense of accomplishment there.  I then decided to try and start cooking more.  Which seems silly when I live alone...  But I do have a few specialties: Spaghetti and Cheese Bread,  Pancakes and French Toast,  Rice and Chicken,  a yummy Taco Casserole, and omelette/stirfry thing for breakfast.  I know, I know, pretty short list.  But like I said, I'm not big into cooking.  Baking however is much more fun!  I've made lots of baked goods! 

We have a family dinner this friday, and I decided to make some homemade beer bread and a carrot cake.  Awhile back I read one of my favorite blogs, and she did a post on making homemade bread.  It was amazing, and I decided I needed to add that to my list of can dos.  Apparently bread isn't as easy as most baked goods.  Its kinda touchy, takes awhile and everything has to be warm.  Along with the Carrot Cake and Beer Bread I made 2 loaves of Zucchini Bread.  I do not like Zucchini...  But this stuff is amazing!  I add chocolate chips, my momma adds nuts and/or coconut.  But very very good.  So I will share both the Beer Bread Recipe and our Zucchini Recipe (which I may add is probably better than any you've had before ;)  )

Beer Bread
(makes one loaf)

2 1/2 tsp dry active yeast
1 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp butter (melted)
1 (12 oz) beer (lukewarm)
2 cups allpurpose flour
1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp salt

1.  Mix the yeast, sugar and butter into the beer and let it sit until the yeast has dissolved, about 10 mins.
2.  Mix the flour and salt
3.  Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until they form a dough.
4.  Dump the dough onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 5-10 mins, adding more flour if it's too sticky to work with.
5.  Place the bowl in a large greased bowl, cover and let it rise until it has doubled in size, about 1-2 hours.
6.  Punch the dough down, dump onto a floured surface, lightly knead for a minute and let rest for a few mins.
7.  Form the dough into the shape that you want it, place it on a sheet of parchment paper, cover it and let it rise until doubled, about 1-2 hours.  When forming the dough intot he shape that you want it, fold in a bit of the sides under the dough in order to stretch the surface a little.
8.  Transfer the loaf on the parchment paper onto a baking sheet, slash the top of the dough a few times and dust with flour( or corn meal)
9.  Place in a pre-heated  450 degree oven, and bake until crust is brown, about 25-30 mins
10.  Let cool at least 15 mins


                                         
                                           Final Rising


                                                   And the finished product!  YUM


Zucchini Bread

3 eggs
1 cup oil
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar - Mix

Add the egg mix
3 cups zucchini (can add more if you like)
3 cup flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
6 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp vanilla

Add nuts or raisins or coconut or chocolate chips.  Pour into two bread pans (floured) and cook at 325 for 1 hour (usually needs a touch longer)



I hope you all enjoy as much as I did!!!!


That's all for now my pretties....

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lipstick & Nail Polish



My earliest memory of lipstick and nail polish must have been when was around 4 years old.  My room wasn't finished yet, so I shared a room with my brother.  Totally thought I was cool :D  But anyways, I had some sort of barbie makeup set(actually I think I just threw away the lipstick, lol).  It was so awesome!  It had some wicked bright pink nail polish. And ever since I can remember I've always painted my nails!  So one afternoon I was sitting on the bottom bunk, on top of my favorite pink blanket(that had a matching doll).  And what happened, of course I spilled it everywhere.  Just like my mamma had predicted!  She was so mad, and I was crushed, and the polish ended up in the grabage. 

I've been addicted ever since.  In fact I can't remember ever Not having my toes painted.  My fingers however, are rarely painted, just because they always chip and never stay pretty.  Along with the fact that I didn't get my mamma's pretty hands ;) .  My hands are pretty big and look a lot like my brothers', unless I have acrylics on.  My nails never seem to grow, and when they do, they always break!  But lately I've been painting my nails every week, and they look great, it's very exciting!  What are your favorite colors????

Lipstick.  I remember rockin some red Bon Bon lipstick in gradeschool.  Even before I wore make-up :)  But actual lipstick has never really been my thing.  Lip gloss, now there's my addiction!  I can't go without, ever.  I can't even fall asleep unless I have a bunch on.  My personal fav is Victoria's Secret.  It is so amazing, lasts longer than most, and is heavenly on your lips.  I think lipstick is super sexy, but I haven't found one that works.  And I've never really been sure how to make the right color decision.  What are you're favorite colors, and how did you choose what worked?  Light pinks, deep reds, what do you just Love???

Girls, Lipstick and Polish... What else really completes our girly sides, :)


Check out this website loves, its got a ton of great tips!  This link goes right to how to choose the right lipstick.



 

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Traveling...



growing up we always had to travel everywhere.  my grade-school was only five miles away, but town and high-school was thirty seven.   it didn't matter where we went, it was always at least an hour on a narrow curvy road, following a river.  not good when you get car sick.

so for four years i caught the bus at six thirty four am or if i got to drive, id leave at seven.  then i graduated and for some reason  chose to go to a community college ten hours away.  man what a drive.  the first couple of years i went home several times a year.  it then dwindled down to rarely making it back to the river where i grew up.  gas prices rose, i had a pickup, horses, cats, dogs and a fiance.  quite a lot to pack across and down the state.

in an effort to be closer to home, after graduating from bmcc i transferred to osu in corvallis.  where it rains.  a lot.  the place we lived in had stalls and a small arena, but there were leaks everywhere, how could there not be when they get a couple of feet of rain a year.  my eccentric landlady compared it to a rainforest with a winter, and how right she was.  i wasn't raised in the desert, but we also didn't pack snorkels and flippers.  corvallis lasted six months.  then i moved to norwood, co which is much like eastern, or but at a much higher elevation, with prickly pear and uranium.  at first i worried that my horses feet would be sore after riding through cactus, but they were all right  i spent the summer interning for blm and riding colts for a ranch in olathe.  gelbviehs seem to be a crowd pleaser in that country.  school again started for me in september in la grande, or.  where i lived in the same apartment for nine months.... can you even believe it....  first time since i left home that id stayed that long in one place.  five moves later, i was back in pendleton.  i seem to be drawn to this little town with the huge rodeo.  but im a restless sort.  and i can now move my horses and belongings in my trailer.  pretty handy when you cant stay put for very long.  i usually move along every three months or so.  



then about two weeks ago i got ready to pack it all up and move home while i go to a beauty college in southern oregon.  im still not sure how im going to do with being tied down for at least fifteen months...  i suppose it wont be too bad with all the driving and the numerous projects my dad and i have planned.  at least ill always be busy.  along with training my new filly and breeding my thoroughbred mare.  

my parents and i are now on the road, and currently going through portland.  my mamma and i are in my pickup pulling the uhaul and my daddys behind us in their pickup with my ponies.  oh and of course miss lottie lou is in the back seat.  earlier in the rain by multonomah falls my mamma and i sang a song to my daddy over the walkie talkie.  he loved it. haha.

i suppose i could safely say that from an early age i was just destined to travel like a gypsy.....


thats all for now my pretties        

xo


me


Thursday, April 7, 2011

My Momma's .38 :D

the girl picks the gun up.  small and fairly light.  she knows its old and wonders about its history.  was it used to kill, had it threatened lives...  how many people had fired it.  she felt its strength, the deadly power it posessed.  knowing what the little gun was capable of, she handles it with great care and respect..  just like her daddy taught her.  its a colt .thirty eight, six shot revolver with a three inch barrel.  a perfect womans gun.  and thats exactly what it who it had been purchased for.  a young man had bought it for his young wife.  she was a small woman albeit capable, but he knew he wouldnt always be around to protect her.  he prayed that would be a day that never came.

the girl who holds it now is not that woman, but her daughter.  who has moved into a home of her own with no protection other than the .thirty eight and her little heeler dog.  the weight feels comfortable in her hand.  she looks it over, the irons cold to the touch.  she flips the cylinder open, six empty chambers .  theres a box on the stump.  she pulls a bullet out, loading the gun.  she does this five more times.  she stands up, standing with her left foot just slightly behind the other.  she cocks the hammer back, the cylinder rotates and clicks.  the firing pin now resting over the bullet.  she takes a breath and as she exhales she squeezes the trigger.  the little gun bucks in her hand, but she doesnt drop it.  she hit what she aimed at, of course it wasnt very far away.  the short barrel makes it difficult to hit anything with any accuracy at any distance.  the smell of burnt gunpowder stings the senses...  a feeling of accomplishment and assuredness comes over the girl.  she knows how to use the little colt and knows she can use it right.  her daddy always reffered to it as a belly gun, and thats all it could be...

when she gets home that night, she confidently places it under her pillow.  it may seem odd or even silly to some.  but she knows its there and sleeps peacefully each night knowing she has it if she needs it.  and the second ammendment ensures that right.

well that girl was yours truly.  and the .thirty eight under my pillow belonged to mamma.... and dont you know that little pistola is always under my pillow.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Inability to Choose

i dont know, im confused, unsure, uncertain, why should/shouldn't i

there are many ways to express confusion or indecision over the choices we make everyday.  big or little, insignificant or life altering.  it doesn't matter.  each time we are presented with a choice, we consider the pros vs. cons or good vs. bad.  in some cases that's a very good idea.  however, by systematically weighing out each side, we make our decision tougher.  we have all been there, all said these words, well now what do i do...

no one in our world is perfect, and quite often we are all  unable to choose.  sometimes its this inability that makes us who we are.  right, wrong or indifferent our choices in life shape and mold us.  allow us to grow and learn.

so while men may cuss us women for not just making up our minds already, they too are quite often indecisive.  and its ok for us to occasionally choose to be gray rather than black or white

that's all for now my pretties

xo

me

Thursday, March 31, 2011

New Beginnings

beginning this year, i have started reading blogs. many belonging to my friends.  i fully enjoy reading whats going on in their worlds and how they perceive things.  so i have decided to start one of my own.  ive always loved to write, and in school obviously we write for a reader.  well nowadays it seems i just write in my personal journal, which no one reads.  but i catch myself writing as if writing a story for someone.  so it seems natural, to start a blog and share some of my stories, such as they are

on a side note, im still trying to put together my page.  im doing all of his on my phone as i am moving and the internet is already turned off.  that being said it wont let me capitalize letters or use most of my punctuation symbols.  so i do apologize...  .. 

thats all for now my pretties

xo


me