I don't know if any of you have ever watched Gossip Girl, or read the books(there's 13). There's some major differences between the 2 which can be wildly irritating. But that's not really what I'm writing about. I got totally addicted to the books a couple years ago, then discovered the show and I love it too, yea yea, I know not exactly intellectually stimulating. But isn't that why we watch TV in the first place? To balance out such nonsense I do read awesome books like The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald(it doesn't matter that it's one of Serena's favorites OK). So anyway, you should at least check it out on Netflix, all 6 seasons are on there. If you hate it that's completely understandable. It's just something to watch if you need the noise of a television.
The other night I was watching an episode from Season 5, for those of you who don't know, Chuck and Blair have this totally crazy wild love for one another. Toxic at times, but one of those TV romances you really root for. Anyway, Blair is currently engaged to the Prince of Monaco and there's this strange rift of past feelings going on. She's not entirely certain she's made the right choice, and I don't know anymore than that so if you've seen it, don't tell me what happens. Blair and Chuck are talking, she needs him to be a bad person in order to allow herself to completely move on and Chuck gives her what she needs because all he truly wants is for her to be happy.
Chuck tells Blair that "There's a difference between a great love and the right love". Blair goes off on a tangent about the great loves being crazy loves, the type of love that is written and sung about. That got me to thinking. I've very definitely experienced that great and crazy love. It took Forever to realize that toxic, breathless, passionate, whirl wind love was an addiction, and that the right love is still out there. It was strangely comforting because I can relate to the crazy relationship of Chuck and Blair. Now of course watch, they'll ultimately end up together, in a fairy tale season finale.
Life isn't a fairytale, no matter how hard we work, literature and television will always simply be about entertainment and what we expect as an audience. We can't live that way, although Blair often times inserts herself into old movie roles. I went through a lot of emotions over the loss of my love, but finally I just don't feel one way or another about it. I occasionally feel sad that I "wasted those marvelous years in college", but yet I'm not sorry I felt what I felt. It was an experience that one day will have made me much stronger. Rather than being some hum drum with a boring life, who's rarely experienced true excitement I felt enough in those 4 years for a lifetime. I felt every emotion I'm capable of to its extreme, and I'm glad for that.
I'm ready for my right love. Well maybe not right now because there's still so much I want to experience, so many places I want to live and travel to, but when it happens I'll be ready. Crazy emotions firmly in the past :)
XO Loves,
Me
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