We all know that in order to lead a well organized efficient life, one that leads us somewhere we want to be, we have to make plans. Plans encourage and motivate us much like goals do. But even the best laid plans can change.
In 2009 I was working for BLM in Norwood, CO, and in my off time I rode colts for a guy in Olathe. I'm not sure exactly what happened but after a treacherous day in the field with a very intense man(who didn't believe in catching your breath), I came up lame. My left knee was swollen, hurt and looked funny. I went to the doctor and he agreed I had injured it but physical therapy was about all we could do for it at that point. A couple weeks later I was riding a little cutting bred filly who had a major attitude. All was going well, we were about done when I asked her to lope one more time. I guess she figured she had worked hard enough. She started bucking, I rode her a little ways then came off. We were in a round pen with good footing, but she threw me into the wall and my right foot got hung up in the stirrup. Of course I got drug a little, but my knee got seriously tweaked. It was ok, if I kicked hard enough I could pop it back and it felt fine. That fall I started physical therapy and my knees started to feel better, and in fact they didn't bother me for 3 years.
Last winter/spring my left knee started to bother me. There's always something that hurts, so I half ignored it for several months. Until it got so bad that if I squatted down I could barely walk when I stood back up. It was a sharp, crippling pain. I began favoring it at work(cement floors in a butcher shop aren't user friendly), and my right knee started to swell and hurt as well. It was more of a dull throbbing pain that could be iced away. I saw a doctor several more times during the summer. She didn't really look at my knee just listened to the symptoms, and set me up with more PT. It was my cousin that worked on me, and no one in the clinic could figured out what was causing the pain. It was incredibly frustrating. I moved the end of September to start school again, and began PT up here. I went for 4 months and showed no real improvement. Clearly something was wrong.
Over Christmas break I saw my real doctor, she actually felt my knee and decided that much swelling at all times really wasn't normal, and gave me a referral to an Orthopedic. Finally! I saw the Orthopedist the day I came back here. I had already had x-rays and an MRI done on both knees. He messed around with my knees, tweaking them and twisting them, finally asking for another x-ray which they did in the office. I came back and in minutes he told me that my knee caps were tracking way outside and I had folded tissue in my joints. Wow, 1 appointment and I got an answer I'd been looking for, for 6 months. He ordered a special CT Scan that would show the degree of tilt in each knee at certain angles. Come to find out, my knee caps are severely tilted and surgery is required. The left one being the worse of the 2 which is so typical considering I signed off on the Workman's Comp case. Oh well, such is life.
The really big deal is that I have to have both knees operated on. Originally the plan was an arthroscopic surgery that loosened the tendons allowing my knee cap to float back to its original position. Only since I have the worst Irish luck, mine will be much more extensive. Involving slicing my leg open, re-attaching bones with screws and to top it off staples. Staples along at least a 6" incision! Each knee requires a 6 week Nothing period, with a 6 month recovery overall. Now when I say nothing, I mean I can't even drive myself! This is was pretty much just the most awful news I've had in quite awhile. Even worse than finding out my ex-fiance will be getting married while I'm going under the knife... Perfect, just perfect.
So rather than staying here and learning how to farm, and barrel racing for the summer, or going to OK to intern on a ranch(if I got it) I have to move home and do NOTHING all summer long! Just horrible! Not that I don't love my home and my parents, but I just moved from CA and I'm trying to go forth in life. This is definitely not the going forth I had in mind. I hate surgeries, I hate blood, staples, stitches, scars, braces everything medical!!! When I had my nose fixed I was barely clear headed from the anesthesia before I started dreading the day when the tubes had to come out. Really. So now, besides dreading these 2 awful very intrusive surgeries I'm freaking out about having the staples taken out. I mean that just can't feel pleasant.
So there ya go. My rant on my whole summer going from something great to something completely lame. Oh and lets not forget that surgery #1 will be taking place in June, with #2 being 6 weeks after that, that I won't be able to ride a horse again until 2014. I swear, my life is ruined as far as I can see for now... I'm terribly upset and freaked out. I have to drive 10 hours the middle of March to meet with the surgeon(who's like the best on the west coast) to finalize details and go over it all in great depth. Ugh, I'll probably pass out, just the thought of it all makes my toes curl.
Always remember, never take your today for granted because tomorrow could be something you never bargained for. Thanks for letting me get that all out :)
Xo Loves,
Me
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